What were they thinking? 10 Worst Celebrity Baby Names

Bruce Lansky, the baby name guru and publisher of our book, regularly reviews the birth announcements of celebrities because, like it or not, the names they select influence the choices of millions of parents. Inspired choices by celebrities are likely to start new trends. Unfortunately, disastrous choices are also likely to be widely imitated. He praises the keepers and pan the clunkers, in an attempt to help parents make smart choices for their children.

 

Worst Baby Celebrity Girls’ Names of 2009

1) Bandit Lee Way (Sinter Gerard Way and Bassit Lindsey Ballato) Why? Will Bandit grow up to be a crook, thief, robber or arsonist?

2) Mars Merkaba (Singer Erykah Badu and boyfriend Jay Electronica) Why? I like the alliteration; however, Mars was the Roman God of War. What a strange namesake for a little girl.

3) Lou Sulola Samuel (Model Heidi Klum and singer Seal Samuel) Why? The child might not like being “a girl named Lou” (remember “A Boy Named Sue?”) but she doesn’t have a safe middle name to fall back on.

4) Charlie Tamara Tulip O’Connell (Actress Rebecca Romijn and actor Jerry O’Connell) Why? Remember those commercials for Chicken of the Sea starring Charlie the Tulip (I mean, Charlie the Tuna)?

5) Petal Blossom Rainbow Oliver (TV Chef Jamie Oliver and wife Jools Norton) Why? Petal Blossom joins older sisters Daisy Boo and Poppy Honey as the third silly-name sister. (Blossoms have petals, but do petals have blossoms? I don’t think so.)

Potential Trend-setter Baby Girl Celebrity Names

1) Stella Luna Pompeo Ivery (Actress Ellen Pompeo and husband Chris Ivery) Why? Stellaluna is a fictional female fruit bat in a children’s book of the same name by author Janell Cannon. Loopy but likeable idea for a girl’s name.

2) Java Kumala Halloway (Actor Josh Holloway and wife Yessica Holloway) Why? Java’s what they used to call coffee back in the 40s. It’s a retro name and suddenly seems hip.

3) Bardot Vita Boreanaz (Actor David Boreanaz and model Jaime Bergman) Why? Brigitte Bardot was a French movie star back in the 60s. The names gives young Ms. Boreanaz the gift of glamour and a soupcon fo French je ne sais quoil

4) Annison Kae West (Actress Chyler Leigh and actor Nathan West) Why? From her stylish hair to her name, Jennifer Aniston is a trend-setter. Now she lends her aura to young Ms. West.

5) Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck (Actress Jennifer Garner and actor Ben Affleck) Why? Seraphina is so pleasing to the ear, Stephen Sondheim’s inspired lyrics about West Side Story’s Maria describe Seraphina even better: “Say it loud and there’s music playing.”

The Worst Celebrity Boy Names of 2009

1) Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa (Actress Lisa Bonet and actor Jason Jason Momoa) Why? Most people won’t know what to make of this hyphenated, multi-syllabic, will-it-ever-end? name.

2) Enoch Daniel Costa (Dancing with the Stars dancer Ashley Costa and producer Mike Costa) Why? Unfortunately, Enoch looks and sounds a little too much like eunuch (a word that describes an emasculated male).

3) Gunnar Flowers (Singer Brandon Flowers and wife Tana Flowers) Why? Gunnar is a Scandinavian name that means “warrior,” which hardly goes with a last name like Flowers. (Would you believe his dad, Brandon Flowers, is the lead singer for a band called The Killers?)

4) Dreavyn Kingslee Martin (Guitarist Billy Martin and wife Linzi Martin) Why? Draven is a made-in-American name created by adding a D to the word variation that I’d describe as “alphabet soup.”

5) Sparrow James Midnight Madden (Singer Joel Madden and socialite Nicole Richie) Why? Why name a boy after on of the least of God’s creatures, the common sparrow, when you could name him Hawk or Tiger?

The Potential Trend-setter Celebrity Baby Boys’ Names of 2009

1) Knight Jones (Rapper Nas and singer Kellis) Why? There was Barron Hilton, the hotel magnate, and Sargent Shriver, the first director of the Peace Corps. Now there’s Knight Jones. On another note, this name will make it easy and fun for his parents to put him to bed, “Night, Knight.”

2) Blaise Ray Brown (Swimmer Amanda Beard and photographer Sacha Brown) Why? This French name sounds like blaze – it’s fast and it’s hot.

3) Jesse Jameson Ortiz (Actress Jenna Jameson and UFC star Tito Ortiz)Why? This is a fun and memorable way to pay homage to American icon Jesse James while also honoring his mother’s maiden name.

4) Boston Herbet (American Idol singer Carmen Rasmusen and husband Brad Herbert) Why? Austin and Brooklyn are popular place names. Why not Boston?

5) Tripp (Bristol Palin and ex- fiance Levi Johnston and daughter of former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin) Why? Tripp is a cool name that suggests traveling or tripping out.

 Bruce Lansky is “The Baby Name Guru.” His candid reviews of celebrity baby names and baby-naming articles have been reprinted in thousands of newspapers, magazines, and websites across North America. His name books, which have sold over 11.5 million copies, include 5-Star Baby Name Advisor, 100,000 Plus Baby Names, 60,000+ Baby Names, The VeryBest Baby Name Book, 25,000+ Baby Names, and The New Baby Name Survey.

 
 

 

 

 

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