Planet Fair: A Happy Place for Siblings

What planet do we live on?

I have two kids. Boy, do I like that number. It is an even number. It can easily be divided. Tables were made for even numbers; cars were made for even numbers. Heck, families were made for even numbers. Yes, I like even and that is how I played parenting for quite some time – even.

The big question here involves the words: equal, fair and yes even. When I got Noah a bike – I felt the need to get Jake one too. When I was out running errands and I grabbed a doughnut for Jake, I got one for Noah. When Noah needed a backpack because he was starting school, I felt Jake should get one too.

However, there was this saying that I kept ignoring back then and it was: FAIR IS NOT ALWAYS EQUAL (even).  I had to make some important changes to make the planet EVEN we lived on a little better for everyone.

We now live on Planet Fair.

It is not always an easy planet to maintain. My kids sometimes feel slighted and I sometimes feel…uneven but now we give to our children in an individual way. Noah likes to skate so we bought him skates. Jake mentioned he liked karate so we signed him up.

Simple – right?

Yeah, because when you look at it – it is still even. This time, however, they each received things that made them feel uniquely loved. When you do this everyone feels special.

I have a friend that wanted each of her children to feel equally loved that she did the SAME thing all the time for each of them. For instance, her son loved guitar so she went out and bought a musical instrument for each of her kids (to make it equal). When the eldest opened his first, he was ecstatic. When his younger sister opened an instrument – two things happened. The sister asked herself, “Why did my parents get me this?” And the eldest felt his gift wasn’t as special anymore. My friend was trying to treat everyone equally but this treatment left everyone feeling bad.

So join me on Planet Fair.

Until next time ~

Lisa

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